I’m no romance guru, but I’ve had my walk around the block when it comes to relationships. If you know what I mean when I say that, then you’ve experienced the daily judgement for couples as you’re going about your day. You can read a girl’s facebook statuses and see that her relationship is going nowhere as she compliments her boyfriend- or- you can see who has got the real deal. These signs are only noticeable after firsthand experience.
1. Too much physical contact.
When other people are looking at you and cringing as you hold each other in public, that should serve as a trigger that something’s wrong. People around you are uncomfortable with how touchy-feely you are. If you can’t be in each others’ presence without touching their body, that says one of two things. One of you is either too insecure (not ready) for a relationship. Or, that physical contact is the strongest bond holding you two together, not your compatible personalities.
2. Sex talk.
It’s important that every relationship has the intimacy and chemistry that pulls it together from the start. And it’s healthy talk about your sexual thoughts, especially ‘cause it’s fun. But, if you find that you’re only able to hold a conversation when you’re talking about sexual subjects, then you don’t really have anything to talk about. Sexual chemistry shouldn’t be the strongest bond holding you two together, either. It should always be the personalities, hobbies, humor, what have you.
3. Too much flattery.
Ladies love to be flaunted and cherished- and they should be! (C’mon, we’re amazing!) But no man should throw around empty compliments. Does he leave you sweet goodmorning messages EVERY morning? How many times a day do you exchange “I love you”s? This problem mostly lies in men, I’ve noticed. If he’s constantly telling you you’re beautiful without reminding you that you’re intelligent, capable, funny, or something unique, that’s a bad sign. Whenever a guy is overly sweet, you should be a little curious why. It might feel like he truly loves you, but you’re probably just filling space as his girlfriend.
And ladies, these men are the ones that’ll break your sweet little heart. I will warn you to watch for them. In my experience, they’re the worst. I don’t even give a second look at men who shower me with compliments anymore, I need to see that they’re a true companion, not just an admirer.
4. They’re still close with their ex.
I don’t care how far they go back, I don’t care how long their relationship lasted. If they’re up-to-date on everything in each others’ lives, YOUR relationship is weakened. It can be painful to let go of the past, and you should never push your significant other to leave behind someone so close to them. That is NOT your place in their life. But think about when you came into the picture, and why. I promise you, if they’re still talking, their romantic past is not resolved. That puts you at emotional risk.
5. Not enough talking.
This is really simple!!! If you don’t talk “just ‘cause,” that’s a sign. A lot of healthy young relationships are very close. There’s lots of communication, you really know each other and what’s going on each the other person’s life. If you find you’re talking less than an hour a day, (unless there’s something in the way) there’s not enough affection between you two. You should really feel the need to express your thoughts and emotions to your significant other regularly as you go through the daily demands of life.
6. School Lovers
This isn’t always a problem, but I’ve noticed a pattern. It’s in couples who met at school (middle school and high school) who hold hands as they walk through the hallways, chatting. They go home and they can only hold conversations related to school. Teachers, homework, other students, gossip. It’s as bad as Sex Talk. Those relationships don’t seem to make it. If circumstances like school or work are the bonding factor in the relationship, it’s probably not real, it’s just convenient.
7. Too-Serious Too-Fast
A common mistake that people make, even sometimes in not-young relationships, is taking it too fast. You can’t take back things you say when youre upset. What’s just as bad, is that you cannot take back things you say when you’re really happy. You might suggest that you two will get married. You say “I love you” early on. You take their side every time they fight with their parents. Don’t do it. When you’re young, saying things like that puts too much pressure on both parties. It puts the relationship in a box, and doesn’t allow room for the other person to change. And people can change without the relationship needing to end, but the relationship can’t thrive when it’s stuck in a box.
I know I run a food blog, but I felt like I should just put this out there. Feel free to message me, especially if you think I’m wrong. And I’m here for anyone who has questions. Young relationships are a huge part of life, and no one should have to go through them feeling alone and confused.